loved reading your comment too Kate. Gotta pick your battles and somehow hairdos and clothes doesn’t seem to warrant a high priority. (Mind you, if i have girls i may enforce something like or modification of the “praise the lord” rule, where when they raise their arms up and if flesh is showing then the top is too small… )

maybe “parental guidance” is where i’d put my flag.
for example, i had an interesting experience yesterday at the local Just Cuts hair salon.
i took my Rather Long Haired Lads in for a wee trim, and the Hair Lady asked ME what i wanted. so i deferred to each child, at which point she said, rather firmly, that in her opinion children can choose their hairstyle at sixteen, and before then mom chooses.
i said (equally as firmly, but gently lol) that i really believe in encouraging my children’s individuality and not putting them all through the Cookie Cutter.
one of my lads in particular (ok S9) has a firm idea of what he likes, and i don’t wanna make his hair a big issue between us. i would like him to feel valued in his uniqueness, and as it turned out, there was a lot of hair cut off and he’s ok with the new look. but he didn’t feel pressured to conform to My Expectations. tricky to explain in words lol.

i remember so many fights with R14 in her infancy over clothes/hairstyle that i would totally avoid now… in favour of self-expression and more of a *we’re on the same team* kinda style: does it really matter whether she wears a layered mass of skirt/jeans/two tops??? blah blah

all this to say that i’ve found each baby very different, but all settled to sleep easier in my arms. especially during the first six months, and all of my kids sleep through the night now lol.
i think we westerners have an interesting relationship with Night Sleep Expectations. but then our society does have a tendency to Cut Cookies.